Kampfer Finsternis in der Seele
by theschwa72
Summary: A new Kampfer finds himself with a black bracelet, and a mission to combat the moderators and protect free will, but has issues with his own body and identity as a person. Please R&R, because I would like to know what people think of this story. (Rated M for possible mature themes later on)
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This story takes place after the main series ends, a few days later. There are a few OCs in this, or will be, and the main character is also an OC. Also, if you have a problem with LGBTQ stuff, please just don't read this, because I don't want to have to deal with flamers. Possible OOCness for some of the characters, but this is my story, so whatevs. With that, enjoy!**

Chapter 1:

Taiki was dreaming. He was dreaming that he was a girl, with breasts and a vagina, and that he was wearing a dress. He was wearing a black bracelet that was glowing, his dress was black as well, and he was wearing fishnets. He felt happier than he ever had in his life.

And then he woke up, and so, like all good things, the dream ended.

"Wow," he said to himself. "That was a great dream." Taiki got dressed in his school uniform with his blazer, tie and shorts, and got on the bus to school. He was obviously of European descent, with blue eyes and short brown hair. Of medium height, he did not appear a very confident person, as he didn't stand up straight and seemed to always be looking at the ground. His legs and arms seemed abnormally hairy compared to the look of his face, as his face was completely shaven.

Once he got to school, he noticed Natsuru Senou, who seemed to have a sort of harem with him outside of school, standing at the gate to the boys' side. Taiki walked past him, noticing that his face was rather distressed, and went on in to his first class, Japanese. Taiki was from the United States, and had came to Japan with his parents, who had moved to Europe for his mom's job. He had come to know himself as, "Taiki" and had told others to call him that as well.

"Hey, Taiki," called one of the guys in his class, the delinquents, because Taiki didn't know Japanese very well, and was in the basic class. He had trouble with even the hiragana, so he had been working really hard at improving. "I like your blue eyes!"

"Yeah, they look like the fucking _ocean_!" one said, and Taiki wanted to leave already. He hated the constant harassment from his classmates every day in his first and third classes.

"Nice bracelet!" Taiki, even in Japanese, could realize that all three boys were being sarcastic, and just wanted to run when he realized,

_Bracelet? When did I get a bracelet? _He looked at his arms and saw the black bracelet from his dream, and looked at it, frantically trying to remember when he had gotten it. He then heard a voice in his head that he was sure wasn't his, and was sure wasn't anyone outside his head.

_Taiki, heir of the Lightning Phoenix, receive your heritage! _Taiki felt the bracelet heat up and saw it start to glow, and he almost ran out of the classroom, leaving his backpack on, and went outside, because school hadn't officially started yet, and he went beyond the gate to the boys' side, out into the street.

Once he got outside, he felt his entire body start to heat up in random places, like sparks were hitting him, and then, as he looked down at himself, he realized sparks _were_ flying, just not hitting him – They were _coming_ from him! He felt his body changing, shaping into something it wasn't usually, but that somehow felt _correct_, like he had inhabited the wrong body his whole life. He realized that he felt exactly like in his dream, that he was in a female body. He realized his hair was long and black, as opposed to his ordinary short, brown hair, and he didn't feel the alien presence of body hair in his form. He felt a sense of power in himself, and realized that there were footsteps behind him - or her, she supposed.

Taiki turned, and saw the female Natsuru Senou, as well as the student council president and two other girls, but Senou had her hand pointing at Taiki, and one of the other girls, the redhead had a gun pointed at her, with the president having two daggers with chains attached to them in her hands and the last, a white haired girl with a katana.

"Who are you?" the redhead shouted, aiming the gun at Taiki. "We felt the blast of energy! Why are you here? Are you trying to help the White Kampfers?" Taiki, confused, responded,

"What's a Kampfer? Is that German or something?"

"Don't play stupid with us! We know you're a Kampfer! We're Kampfers too!" the redhead yelled, shooting her gun and narrowly missing Taiki's head. Taiki wanted to duck, but instead she stood where she was, feeling like she was looking intimidating. Taiki felt her lips move, not of her own choice, but because of something else - like a phoenix.

"_I am the Black Kampfer_," Taiki's body said, in a gender-neutral voice. "_I am the Lightning Phoenix_. _I have come to destroy the moderators, as the protector of human free will. Do you oppose me?_" Taiki had been standing because of some force, and fell after the voice stopped speaking. The other girls looked at themselves, and the president stepped forward, keeping her chained daggers pointed at Taiki.

"We want to get rid of the moderators as well, but how can we trust you? Aren't you from America or Europe? Why are you even here in Japan?"

"My parents moved here from America, but then left for a new company position in Europe, and they decided not to take me along." Taiki tried to stand up, but the president leveled a dagger at her, her face completely emotionless. Taiki flinched inwardly at the look, knowing the look that so many of her harassers had worn when they tormented her, back in America and in Japan. "I don't know what would make you trust me, but you can just stay away from me if you want."

_God, the president's scary. She's just like those bullies back in elementary school - the ones with the blank faces, not caring about what happened to me. _

"Let's let the girl come with us. What's your name?" The female Senou Natsuru said, and suddenly Taiki had an idea.

_I got transformed when my bracelet glowed, and Natsuru has the same kind of bracelet, so I wonder if she's the male Senou Natsuru too? Am I just delusional, or am I on to something?_

"Are you the male Senou Natsuru too, and you get transformed when you change into a Kampfer?" Senou looked shocked, but slowly nodded, and then looked as if she'd had an idea.

"Does that mean you're a boy, too? When you're not transformed, I mean." Taiki nodded her head, and looked up at the student council president, who practically had her foot on Taiki.

"Can you let me up, please?" Taiki asked the president, and after a few seconds, the president did so, lowering her daggers, but not taking her eyes off Taiki.

_I can't tell if she's angry or just bored,_ Taiki thought. _Her face is as unexpressive as any I've seen. _

Taiki stood up, dusted herself off, and began to walk back towards school when she felt the sparks again. She felt herself transform again, back into the hairy, masculine body she hated, and then Taiki was back into his male form. He walked back sad and angry, angry that his perfection couldn't last forever.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2:

After school, as Taiki went outside the building, he saw that there were four people waiting at the gate. One was Natsuru Senou, another was the president, one was the shy, redheaded girl named Akane, and the last was the orange haired girl named Mikoto. As he walked past, the student council president grabbed his arm and hissed,

"Come with us, we need to show you something. _Now_." Taiki nodded meekly, and followed the group out of the courtyard. He followed them to an open field with trees on one side and road on the others, where they stopped. The president turned around and looked straight at Taiki. "This is where we fought a white Kampfer last night. Look at those patches of charred grass." She pointed and Taiki looked and saw the said patches, then asked,

"What's a Kampfer? I know the voice in me said I was the Black Kampfer, but what is a Kampfer?" All of the group except Natsuru and the president sighed, and she told Taiki,

"A Kampfer is a warrior chosen by an entity called "The Moderators" to fight each other, to balance out the power of two opposing forces on a planet. Kampfers are either red, blue, or white, with the reds and blues fighting each other and the whites attacking groups, like us, who decided not to fight each other."

"Why would you fight in the first place? I mean, what's the point?" Taiki questioned, and the president nodded.

"That's what we thought, so we didn't fight anymore, until Sakura came along with her white Kampfers to try and get Natsuru's female form, who she apparently has a crush on. We," the president motioned at her group, "Prevented that, and had thought we'd driven her and the white Kampfers away when another one attacked last night."

"So it's not over, apparently," said Natsuru. "And we think she - Sakura, is recruiting more white Kampfers, so it's only a matter of time before we get overwhelmed by them. We're good, but we're just four, and Sakura can probably just create more if we defeat the ones she sends at us."

"Do you want me to help you?" Taiki asked cautiously, not wanting to be near the president more than he had to but not wanting to be impolite. "I mean, I don't know much about Kampfers, but it seems like the moderators are bad, and you need help. Besides, I like transforming, because it feels _right_ in a way I can't explain."

"Help would be nice, don't you think?" the president questioned the others in an innocent tone. They nodded, and the president offered her hand to Taiki. Taiki shook it, and suddenly felt his transformation come over him. Taiki then bathed in the correctness of her body, and saw the president step back. "You're sparking black lightning!" she told Taiki, who stepped back, looking at her limbs that were indeed sparking with black energy. Taiki heard a shout from behind her, and turned just in time to see a girl with a white bracelet charging at her with a giant two-handed sword.

Taiki instinctively sidestepped it. _Put out your hand, _said the voice in her. Taiki did, and out of her hand shot lightning, black and crackling energy that shot towards the girl, touching her skin and instantly charring it. She screamed and dropped her sword, falling to her knees as she clutched the place the lightning had touched her. The rest of the group transformed into the people Taiki had seen just before school on the deserted street and looked around. Taiki did as well and saw nine more girls charging at them, some with guns, others with swords, and one with icicles surrounding her.

The redhead began to shoot her gun at them, while Natsuru shot a fireball at the chick with icicles, and the other two engaged two melée attackers in combat. That left two with guns and two with swords charging at Taiki, shooting bullets that she was narrowly dodging. As the two swordswomen came within ten feet of Taiki, she heard a voice in her head. _Lift your palm to the sky. _Taiki did, and lightning, dark as the bracelet she wore, came out of Taiki's fingers, touching all four of her attackers in a perfect X shape, originating from her. They all dropped, but Taiki realized that Natsuru was in trouble, as the icicles were cutting Natsuru up, while Natsuru's fireballs weren't doing much. Not thinking, Taiki shot a lightning bolt at the icicle girl, who dropped, screaming in pain. After about fifteen seconds, all the attackers were down, but Taiki heard sirens in the distance.

"We should go," the president informed all the group, and everyone nodded. They ran out of the field into the forest changing back into their normal forms once they had gotten in.

"T-that was close!" the nervous redhead stammered, and Taiki saw the others nod agreement. Taiki himself was very shaken, and just stood in the clearing they had managed to find. The president waved her hand in front of Taiki's face, and then Taiki jumped.

"You ok?" she asked, and Taiki nodded vigorously, hoping that the president wouldn't get any closer.

_She's scary! I don't want her to get closer - Crap._

The president planted a hand on Taiki's shoulder, who jumped again.

"You seem pretty jumpy, do you want to chill with us until you feel better?" Taiki's eyes widened and he shook his head so hard he wouldn't be surprised if it fell off.

"No, I think I'll just go home now -"

"Wouldn't it be better if we stayed together, because we don't know if the whites will come after us when we're sleeping, do we?" Taiki saw the logic of that conclusion, but still didn't want to be around the president any more than he had to, so he said,

"Yeah, you guys can, but I don't think that the whites know about me that much -"

"Are you kidding?" Natsuru asked, mouth agape. "You're the one who just electrocuted about half of them! They'll be _sure_ to come after you if they come after _anyone_. You've _got_ to stay with at least one of us, otherwise they'll probably kill you!" Taiki, seeing how this was true, but still didn't want to sleep around the president, said,

"I'd be in my own room, right?" The president raised one eyebrow and informed Taiki,

"No, you'd be rooming with one of us, probably me, since I've been doing this the longest." The other three stared at the president, and the orange-haired one, Mikoto, said,

"You're serious, Shizuku? You wouldn't try to be with Natsuru?" The president, or rather, Shizuku, just looked at Mikoto, Taiki saw, and shook her head. Mikoto nodded, and Taiki wondered what he'd just witnessed.

"Then I'm staying with Natsuru!" Akane declared, at the same time as Mikoto affirmed,

"I'll be with Natsuru then." Taiki then realized that all three girls were in love with Natsuru, and that Natsuru was uncomfortable with it, as he saw Natsuru's face turning red.

"Um, yeah, both of you can sleep in the same bed, and I'll have my own, alright?" Natsuru ran past the two girls, and they both glared at him.

"No, I'll be sleeping with him -"

"No, _I'll_ be sleeping with -" Both Mikoto and Akane got into a large argument, so Shizuku led Taiki aside and questioned,

"Do I scare you?" Taiki, not expecting this question, nodded his head before he could realize what he'd done, then looked down at his feet and legs, his far too hairy legs that his parents had forbidden him to shave, saying "It's not fitting for a man to shave his legs". "Really? What makes me scare you?" she said, but Taiki just kept looking at the ground, and he heard Shizuku sigh. "If you don't tell me what scares you, I can't change it, so could you tell me?" Taiki shook his head no, and then felt Shizuku pat him on the back. "Alright, then I'll just keep scaring you, but you're pretty cool, you know?" Taiki looked up at her as she walked back to the group, feeling tears in his eyes at the first complement he'd had from anyone other than his parents since he moved to Japan.

_Why am I crying? She probably doesn't mean it, so why?_


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3:

Taiki was walking with the group of Kampfers to Shizuku's house on the sidewalk, where they would all stay for the duration of the weekend. They had gone together as a group to get each of their things, doing his last. He had been convinced by the others to go with them, especially by Natsuru, who probably wanted another guy to mitigate the amount of fighting over him. Taiki was still thinking about the compliment he'd received from Shizuku, that he was "pretty cool".

_ It's been a while since I had a friend, and she stayed in America and I didn't have email then. It'd be nice to have a friend - What am I thinking? She probably just wants to make the other girls jealous or something - But why would anyone be jealous of someone having _me_ as a boyfriend? I'm below average in everything, except maybe intelligence, but no one cares about intelligence in school. It's all about good looks and charisma, which I have neither of. She probably just wants to toy with me for her own sadistic pleasure, I've heard enough about her for that to make sense. _

_Why am I even going with these people that I barely know? They could rape me or something, I don't even know - But again, I have neither good looks or charisma, so I don't really have to worry about that, do I? _Taiki thought bitterly, looking at his legs. He was so lost in thought that he bumped into Shizuku, almost falling.

"S-sorry! I wasn't paying attention! Sorry!" He bowed his head, looking, again, at his hairy legs as she turned around.

"It's okay, just watch where you're going next time," she told him. "By the way, were here, so you should probably look up to see where you'll be living for the next two nights at least." Taiki did so, and saw a huge, lime green three-story house in front of him.

"Wow..." he trailed off, and saw that the others were walking in the front door, so he followed. He took off his shoes and shut the door behind himself, walking into the living room after the others.

"So this is where you live, Shizuku?" Taiki heard Mikoto say, and saw Shizuku nod. "It's pretty impressive."

"When are your parents gonna be home?" Natsuru questioned Shizuku, who responded,

"Sunday evening. They're on a business trip, so they won't be back until then. I've already okayed you guys sleeping over, so don't worry about that. Natsuru, Mikoto, and Akane, your room is on this floor, first door from here on the right. Don't go on the left; that's my parents' room. The bathroom for this floor is the second door on the left and has a shower." Taiki looked at Shizuku in silent question, eyes asking where he'd be sleeping but soul pleading that this wasn't happening. Shizuku apparently didn't hear his soul, because she said, "Taiki, yours and my room is in the basement." Taiki then had an idea that he was sure Natsuru would support, and that might solve the mess he was in.

"How about the guys sleep in one room and the girls in the other?" Taiki offered. He was met with one gaze of hope and three glares of "absolutely no"s.

"Yeah, that's a great idea, guys! That makes a lot of sense -" Natsuru began, but then was subjected to the three glares of doom, and shut up. Taiki felt like he was falling, falling into an abyss from which he couldn't escape.

"No, the rooms are as I assigned them," Shizuku said sweetly, and Mikoto and Akane pulled Natsuru off towards the room they had been given while Shizuku dragged Taiki down the stairs and into a room colored with black and red. "This is my room," Shizuku told him. "Since I don't have another bed, we'll be sleeping together."

Taiki turned red, and shifted a little. Shizuku laughed, a short, medium pitched noise that made Taiki flinch.

"Don't worry, I won't fuck you... Probably." That made Taiki start to cry, and he looked down, hoping that Shizuku wouldn't see his tears. Unfortunately for him, however, he saw his legs and began to whimper quietly, but he was sure Shizuku heard him.

"Aw, what are you crying about?" Shizuku asked sarcastically, and lifted his face with her hand. "I told you I'd keep scaring you if you didn't tell me what about me scared you." Shizuku let go, and Taiki backed away slowly from Shizuku, step by step, but backed into the bed and fell down onto it. Shizuku laughed her laugh again, making Taiki flinch and close his eyes.

_Why does she hate me? What did I ever do to - Shit._ Shizuku advanced towards Taiki after he opened one eye, and he dreaded what could be coming. He curled up, wanting to protect himself, but Shizuku kept coming closer until she came in close and whispered in his ear,

"You're cute." She then got back up and said in her normal voice, "I'm bathing now. Care to join me?" Taiki quickly shook his head no, and she asked, again sarcastically, "When are you going to get clean then?"

"I'll - I'll go after you!" Taiki said, his face red.

"I'll leave the water for you, then," she said with a smile, and she proceeded to open drawers to get a towel, as well as nighttime clothing pieces. She looked about to leave when she opened the drawer she had gotten her towel out of and grabbed something, which turned out to be a large, fluffy, hot pink towel, that she then threw at Taiki, who caught it looking perplexed. "That's your towel. The others have theirs, but I don't think you remembered towels, did you?" Taiki, embarrassed for forgetting something so basic, shook his head and mumbled,

"No, I didn't..." Shizuku smiled and then walked out, leaving Taiki on the bed, curled in a ball. Taiki thought he smelled roses, and he realized he was. The smell came from the bed, and he basked in the lovely smell and thought about Shizuku, and what she could want.

_Why is she doing this? Why is she torturing me? I probably already know the answer; she's just finding sadistic pleasure in embarrassing, hurting and making me feel weak._ At this point, Taiki realized he had a boner, and wondered why. _Why am I aroused? It's not like I'm attracted to her or anything. _Taiki sat there, on the bed, trying to figure this mysterious person, Shizuku Sango, out.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4:

When Shizuku had told him that she was out of the bath, Taiki had brought his change of clothes into the bathroom and put them in the Japanese-style holder. As he undressed, he looked at his body in the mirror in front of the changing area.

_Why is there a mirror here? To make me feel bad about my body?_ he thought as he looked at all the hair he had on his legs, his chest, and his arms. He looked down at his genitals and shuddered at the amount of long, dark hair there. _I hate my body. My body hair, my voice, my penis, my broad shoulders - It's all terrible. In my female form I'm perfect - No body hair, long hair, no penis, no broad shoulders, boobs. This Kampfer thing is a blessing and a curse, it shows me what I want to be like and then rips it away from me randomly. _Taiki turned the shower head on, letting the water wash over him as he washed himself quickly, not wanting the water to get cold in the bath. He was about to wash his hair when he realized he hadn't brought shampoo to Shizuku's house either. He hit himself with his fist, cursing his own idiocy.

"Why! Why couldn't I just bring what I needed!" he asked the universe, and then noticed a bottle of shampoo. He couldn't read it all, but thought it read something like _Sakura Blossom Shampoo_. He debated whether or not to use it, knowing that he hadn't washed his hair the previous night and thus was due to wash it this night, and caught himself in between what Shizuku would think if he used it, and what would happen if he didn't and had greasy hair. He decided in the interest of personal hygiene and washed his hair, realizing that the shampoo was what he had smelled on the bed, not roses.

_Wow, I live in Japan and still can't tell the difference between sakura blossoms and roses. Good job, Taiki._ Taiki turned the shower head off and got in the bath, trying to loosen his muscles from the tense day. He heard shouts above him, on the first floor, and guessed that the girls were fighting about who would sleep with Natsuru. He felt slightly bad for Natsuru, but Natsuru had no idea how good he had it, with little body hair and not that broad of shoulders, a nice body and at least three girls who were dying to go out with him.

Taiki continued soaking until he thought he had gone long enough, and opened his eyes, flinching from the incongruity of his body with his mind, he let the water out and dried himself off, putting on his pyjamas and bathrobe. Walking out of the bathroom and back to Shizuku's room, he realized that Shizuku wasn't in the room. He turned and went out, and back up the stairs to the kitchen, where Shizuku seemed to be cooking. He observed her stirring what seemed to be udon. He sniffed and smelled it; it was, as far as he could tell, udon, and delicious at that. He took a step forward and the floor creaked, and Shizuku turned her head.

"Hello, Taiki," she said, smiling. _She's probably smiling because she can torture me now,_ Taiki thought, but replied,

"Hi, Shizuku. What are you making for us?"

"Who said I was making anything for any of you? This is for me," Shizuku said in complete seriousness, so that Taiki responded before thinking,

"Oh, I-I'm sorry, I didn't realize -" Taiki then noticed Shizuku was giggling, and he looked down at the ground, and, thanks to his long pyjamas, he didn't see his legs. _She was joking? Makes sense, I don't think she could eat all that by herself. Why am I so stupid?_ Taiki thought, once again, cursing his idiocy. _I'm supposed to be smart, so why can't I tell when people are joking?_

"Can't you tell when I'm _joking_?" Shizuku asked, and Taiki, embarrassed, blushed and shook his head no, replying,

"_No, because it's hard when everyone speaks in a different language than you were born with!_" Taiki said in English, then saw Shizuku's foot move towards him, and flinched, closing his eyes. He heard the footsteps get closer, and he tensed his whole body for an insult, a cutting remark, or a touch. He felt a hand on his shoulder pat him, and he tensed more.

"_I don't want to hurt you, but if you do not tell me what is wrong, I cannot help you," _Shizuku said in English, like Taiki. "_You are scared of me, but if you do not tell me what scares you, I cannot change it._ Yeah, I tease a lot, but if you can deal with some of it and tell me what really bothers you, you might find it easier to be around me." Shizuku switched back to Japanese in a soothing tone, and Taiki tried to un-tense, but couldn't, because he was so scared of Shizuku.

_I don't understand... Does she hate me or not?_

"When you - When you make jokes like that, that make me feel like I did something impolite, I don't like that," Taiki said, trying to articulate what scared him, just hoping that Shizuku was being sincere.

"Ok, so I shouldn't joke about being angry that you used my shampoo?" Shizuku asked playfully, and Taiki tensed slightly. "I mean, it would have been nice if you'd have asked me, but I think it's ok that you did." She turned back to her stirring and cooking, then said, "Oh, and I think you're cute." Taiki turned red and ran back down the stairs to Shizuku's room, unable to accept the compliment on either his body or personality, or perhaps both.

_There's no way she's being serious. I'm not _cute_, I'm ugly, I have a terrible personality, why would she call me _cute_? Why does she torment me with things I'd like to be, but I'm not? Why does she make an effort at being nice, then completely destroy the ground gained by offering a false compliment? I don't _understand _her! Why does she hurt me like this? Can't she just - Can't she just leave me _alone_, instead of trying to hurt me? I don't _understand_... Why couldn't I be born a girl! _

_ Wait, I want to be a girl? Is that what this is, gender dysphoria? Is that what my friend back in America was talking about when she said she wanted to be a boy? Why is this happening to me? Why couldn't I just be congruent with my body? Why do I have to have a penis, broad shoulders, and especially the body hair? What _point_ is there to having them? What point is there to _life_? I'm with a person who refuses to leave me alone, who torments me and who I've known only for a day, really, and fighting people for a reason I don't even know! What am I? What is "The Black Kampfer" or "The Lightning Phoenix"? Are they me, or are they just things inside me? _

_Why does the world make no sense now! I hate this! I hate all of this! I wish I could just - I wish I could just - cease to exist! Yeah, I don't want to exist anymore! This existence is - is POINTLESS!_ Taiki let out a wail of pain and suffering, of hate and sorrow, and of all the problems he had in his life. _I need to have something worth living for, but right now there are only reasons _not_ to live! Why can't I just - I just -_ He continued his wail, and felt tears fall down his cheeks, pressure building inside his head that needed release in the form of tears.

He pounded on the bed, wanting all his emotions to disappear, to go away, he wanted comfort, someone he loved, like the person he had dreamed about that day when he had been twelve, the person that, in the world Taiki inhabited, anyway, didn't exist.

Taiki wailed and cried, and barely heard the door opening because of the combined tears and emotions, and he turned to face the intruder, the person that was making his life so hard, the person he needed to get away from, and he charged at her, trying to punch her but somehow not managing to, and collapsed on the ground, sobbing in a heap, wanting nothing more than to disappear from everything.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5:

**A/N: This chapter is from a new POV, so be forewarned. It's from Shizuku's perspective, so I'll try my hand at it and see if I can get her character that I want for this story down on paper. Er, screen. Memory? Kilobytes? I don't know.**

Shizuku looked at the boy on the floor of her room, and sighed inwardly.

_Maybe I went too far with the teasing? _she thought. _Or does he just have problems? Either way, this isn't my mess to deal with. I don't think. Maybe it is. _Shizuku pondered it for a few seconds, then thought, _Fuck. This might _actually_ be because of me, so I'd better try to help. Why did this guy have to take all my teasing _this_ way?_

_I mean, I _do_ think he's cute, and ever cuter when he's embarrassed, but why couldn't he be mentally stable?_ Shizuku walked over to Taiki, but stepped back when she saw Taiki's head rise and the look in his eyes.

_Those are some _angry_ eyes,_ Shizuku thought. _Is he really _this_ mad?_

"Why do you have to be such a jerk to me!" Taiki snarled. "You're just like the bullies, both here and back in America!"

"I didn't mean to make you angry," Shizuku told him, standing her ground now. "I was just teasing you." _Maybe I can get through to him if I'm honest,_ Shizuku thought.

"No one _means_ to make me angry," Taiki said sarcastically. "It just somehow _happens_. Or is that because they're just trying to get a reaction out of me?" Taiki's voice changed back to pure anger. "You say you were _teasing_, but do you know how many times that's been said, and the adults have let the bullies get off hook, and I've been left to deal with all the _shit_ they've given me? No, I don't think you do!"

_Wow, so that's the reason behind this. He has memories of harassment and can't differentiate between them and my teasing._ Then, a second later, Shizuku thought,_ Maybe my teasing is really similar to what they did to him, and submission and anger are his only two responses. Interesting._

"Taiki, I'm not trying to hurt you, I'm just -" Shizuku was cut off by Taiki yelling.

"SHUT UP! You don't _care_! You don't care about what I feel! That's been obvious since I met you today! You just want to dominate, and destroy, and mess with my mind by giving me fake compliments!" Shizuku blinked, then realized,

_He thinks the compliments were fake, for one reason or another. If I could figure out what makes all his reactions go, I would be interested for a _long_ time._

"They weren't false, Taiki. I do think you're cute, and I do think you're cool. I think -"

"Don't try, it's been done before," Taiki said, bitterness seeping out of his voice. "The only person that ever gave me a real compliment was my friend, and she's back in America!"

"Your parents don't?" Shizuku asked, surprised. Taiki got off the floor and yelled suddenly,

"No! They _don't_, because when they used to, I could tell they weren't sincere, so I told them, and they stopped! Getting nothing is better than getting bad things!" Shizuku decided she was getting nowhere, and said,

"I can stop teasing you, but I won't stop giving you compliments, because I mean them. I need to finish the udon, bye! Dinner is in ten minutes." Shizuku left the room as Taiki said,

"That's right, leave, and don't say or do anything unless you mean it!" Shizuku shut the door behind her and walked up the stairs to finish dinner. _I can try not to tease him, but I'll compliment him all I want. He has to learn that not all people are out to get him, no matter how hard it is for him. _

00000

Shizuku sat at the table, eating with Mikoto, Akane, and Natsuru, while Taiki was absent.

"Where's Taiki?" Natsuru asked. Shizuku looked at him, finished chewing, and told him,

"Not here," with a hint of satire in her voice. Natsuru just sighed and questioned again,

"Where's Taiki? Is he in your room? On a walk? Dead in a coffin?" After another bite, Shizuku responded,

"The first one."

"Why?" Natsuru asked, and Shizuku decided to have a little fun with sarcasm, and answered,

"Because I hit him over the head with a lamp," with a totally blank face. Natsuru blinked once, then twice, then asked,

"Seriously?" Shizuku nodded,and Mikoto yelled,

"What! You can't be serious! Why would you _do_ that?"

"I'm not," Shizuku told Mikoto. "I was joking. He's down there because he's in emotional distress."

_Now as long as they don't ask _why_ he's in emotional distress -_

"Why?" Akane asked curiously._ Shit. Do I tell them the truth? I don't have time to make up a lie, so yes, I do._

"Because he took my teasing and compliments the wrong way," Shizuku informed the group. Mikoto pointed a finger at Shizuku and accused,

"So it's your fault he's in pain? You'd better apologize!"

"One, it's not, entirely, and two, I have already." _Mikoto is just being boisterous. As usual._

"Oh," Mikoto said, and resumed eating. The rest of the meal went by uneventfully, and when they had finished clearing up, Natsuru asked,

"Shizuku, do you have any board games?"

"Yes," Shizuku replied, purposefully being difficult again.

"Could we play one before we go to bed?" Shizuku was about to open her mouth when Akane said,

"N-no! Natsuru, you're coming and sleeping with me!" Mikoto swiftly turned to Akane and said,

"No, he's sleeping with me!" So, for the second time that day, Shizuku left Natsuru alone with two girls fighting over him.

As she walked into her room, Shizuku saw Taiki in the corner, knees to chest, head down. Shizuku announced,

"Time for bed, Taiki," with a completely neutral voice. Taiki looked up, and said,

"I'm not sleeping with you! I'll sleep in this corner!"

"I'm sorry for making you feel bad, but you will hurt your back and your tailbone if you sleep like that. Get in bed, I promise I won't do anything to you."

"Why should I trust you?"

"I don't know, Taiki, but what I do know is that you will hurt your back if you sleep like that," Shizuku informed Taiki. _If I can get him to sleep close to me, I'll have partially made up teasing him._

"I'm not sleeping in the same bed as you!" Taiki declared, and Shizuku decided to compromise and say,

"Do you want me to go get a sleeping bag and a pillow so you can sleep on the floor?" Taiki looked surprised, then nodded. Shizuku replied,

"I'll go get those then." _Now, which color should I get? I know there's pink and black, but there might be a green one - Fuck it, I'm getting Taiki the pink one. He might even appreciate it._


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6:

**A/N: Back in Taiki's POV. This might be a short chapter, or I might combine it with another. Depends. **

Taiki sat in the corner, waiting for Shizuku to come back with a sleeping bag and wondering what he'd done in a past life to deserve the situation he was in. He'd wondered this before, and more intensely, however he was thinking,

_Why is she mean one minute and nice the next? It's so confusing, and why isn't she mad at me for yelling at her? She probably is, she's just waiting to get a good time to get payback on me. That seems like something she'd do, but maybe if I apologize she won't! Maybe if I -_ Taiki stewed in his thoughts for about five minutes until he saw Shizuku, at which point, he ran over to her and said,

"I'm sorry for yelling at you, please don't hurt me!" Shizuku frowned, and Taiki realized she was carrying a pink sleeping bag.

"Why would you think I would hurt you because of that? That was partially my fault, so I can't get mad at you."

"U-um, I-I just thought y-you'd be angry, that's a-all," he said as he looked at the pink sleeping bag. "Are you sleeping on the ground?"

"No, why would you think that?" Shizuku said. "This is yours. I would never sleep in it, it's far too girly for me."

"But - But, I'm a guy! I can't sleep in that, it's too, I don't know, _girly_!"

"You can, because it's the only one that I have, so sleep in it. If you're _that_ worried about it, it's not like I'll tell anyone," Shizuku reassured Taiki, and handed the sleeping bag out to him.

"Where should I set it up?" Taiki asked nervously, unconvinced that she wouldn't make fun of him for it. Shizuku pointed to a spot on the floor away from her bed, and Taiki unrolled it and put it there. He went over to his suitcase, got out his toothpaste and toothbrush, and went out of the room to the bathroom to brush his teeth. As soon as he finished, he put both items back in the plastic bag he had packed them in and passed Shizuku on his way back into her room. He put the plastic bag back in his suitcase and got in the sleeping bag, waiting for Shizuku to come back and turn off the light. When she did, Taiki heard a rustling of blankets that he knew was probably her getting in her bed.

"Good night, Taiki," came the unexpected statement out of the dark from Shizuku. Not wanting to be impolite, Taiki answered back,

"Good night, P- Shizuku," and shifted himself so that he was lying sideways. His eyelids drooped, and he realized what a truly long day it had been. He fell asleep quickly, mind drifting off into a different state of being.

00000

Taiki got up slowly, listening to the sounds coming from above him. He opened his eyes and realized as he gave the bed in the room a glance that Shizuku was already awake.

_Wait, what if I'm late for something?_ he thought, and bolted out of his sleeping bag, noticing how it clashed with the color scheme in the room, and was getting dressed out of his suitcase as fast as he could. Frantically going upstairs to make sure that everyone was still there, Taiki went into the kitchen to see Shizuku adding ingredients to a bowl. She had on a purple button-up shirt, along with a tight black skirt that went down to just above her knees. Taiki was about to go to the living room when Shizuku asked,

"Why are you up so early? It's only 6:42, and it's a Saturday. Did I wake you up?" Taiki glanced at a clock, and realized that it was indeed 6:42, and remembered it was Saturday, so responded with the truth.

"Yeah, I think so, but I usually get early. What are you making?" Taiki asked, switching the topic and trying to make polite conversation.

"Miso soup for _everyone_," Shizuku replied, and Taiki noted the emphasis on "everyone" as Shizuku making fun of Taiki for believing her joke the day before. His face sunk, looking a little more angry and a little more sad than it had before, Taiki assumed. Shizuku had turned back to her ingredient adding, and asked, obviously not seeing Taiki's expression, "Do you want to help?" Try as he might, Taiki could detect no malice in her voice, which confused Taiki, as he was sure she meant harm.

_She's either hiding it or I just can't detect it. That would make sense, since she's speaking in Japanese. _

"No, thank you," Taiki replied with a hint of anger. "I don't want to get harassed for doing something wrong by you!" Shizuku turned and looked at Taiki with a confused expression.

"I won't harass you if you make a mistake, I'll just help you correct it," Shizuku told Taiki.

"Yes, you will," Taiki said. "You'll just try to make me feel bad about myself, which you do enough already!"

"No, I won't do that. I will assist you and try to make sure you _don't_ make any mistakes, and if you do, I'll help you correct it." Shizuku turned back to her work, leaving Taiki standing there, feeling very impolite. After a few seconds, he said,

"Fine, what do you need help with?" Shizuku looked back at him, and said,

"Well, I'm about to put this on the burner, so I'll need a pot. They're in that cupboard," she pointed at a cupboard, then continued. "And I want the biggest, black one. You'll know what I'm talking about." Taiki went to said cupboard and looked inside for a second, until he located the pot he thought Shizuku was referring to, and picked it out.

"This one?" he asked, showing it to her. Shizuku looked and nodded, and he carried it to counter. After putting the pot down on the counter, he accused, "I know you're just trying to hurt me! Why are you even doing this, this acting nice? Just be mean or be nice, but don't try to fake one or the other!" Shizuku had poured all of the mixture into the pot, and looked back at Taiki to say,

"I'm not trying to hurt you, I'm just teasing. What could convince you of that?"

"You not 'teasing' me the first day I met you!" Taiki raised his voice to say, cheeks heating up in anger. "I know what kind of a person you are, but since you're a Kampfer that's not attacking me, I guess I have to be ok _around_ you, but you'll never stop being mean to me! You might stop for a day or even maybe a week, but you'd just be biding your time so you could tear me down!"

"You can think whatever you want to think, but that doesn't mean it's true," Shizuku told Taiki as she put the pot on the burner and turned it on, with blue flames lighting up under the pot. She began to stir as Taiki thought about what she'd said.

_I _want_ to believe her, but in the end, she's just like all the bullies, both back in America and here in Japan. Maybe, if she doesn't make fun of me for a week, _then_ maybe she's different. Until then, she's the same as everyone else who's ever made fun of or bullied me. Wait, why am I even considering that she's sincere? I'm just kidding myself. Am I _that_ desperate for a friend? I _know_ she's just trying to build me up so I can be torn down again. It's better to be at the base of a tower and only fall to the ground when someone pushes you down, instead of being at the top of the tower and falling to your death when someone pushes you. _

"Ah, I spilled. Taiki, could you get a paper towel and wipe the side of the pot? They're over by the sink," Shizuku told Taiki, who complied without thinking and got the paper towel, folding it twice and holding the top, wiping the side of the pot. Then, Taiki saw that the towel was on fire, and ran it over to the sink, spraying water on it to put the flames out. He squeezed the paper towel out and threw it in the trash, cursing himself and his lack of common sense. He then heard a giggle from Shizuku, and whirled around, furious and disappointed that she would break her promise so soon.

_At least _pretend_ that you're going to be nice for a _while_, instead of just saying it and then going back! Damn you, Shizuku! _

"You said you wouldn't harass me anymore! Why are you giggling!"

"Because it's funny! It's funny that you got the paper towel on fire! And I'm not laughing _at_ you Taiki, I'm laughing at something you did, and you should be too! It's _funny_ that your common sense deserted you for a few seconds! I'm not _trying_ to be mean to you!"

"You're accomplishing it all the same! You're no different from the others!"

"No, I think I am," Shizuku disagreed politely. "I don't mean harm; if I am correct in assuming who 'they' are, then 'they' mean harm."

"Even if you don't mean to, you're still causing it," Taiki mumbled. _Why can't she see how much pain she's causing me? Well, she probably does, and that makes it all the better for her,_ he thought bitterly.

"I'm sorry I hurt you by giggling," Shizuku apologized, her face serious, and Taiki felt confused. 

_Why does she go back and forth from nice to mean? It's too fast, I don't understand!_

"You don't have to help with the fish if you don't want to, you can wait in the living room," Shizuku told Taiki, and he almost jumped, walking out of the kitchen eagerly, grateful not to be in the same room as the student body president. He sat down, thinking about his interactions with her.

_Why does she keep hurting me so much? Does she _like_ seeing me in pain? What does she - or any of the bullies, for that matter - like making me feel bad? Is it a trait common in humans, the want to hurt people and see their pain on their face? So why does she keep saying that she doesn't want to hurt me? It's obvious that she's _trying_ to hurt me, with all the things that she says and does. But what if she's being sincere? What if she wants a friendship with me, and _I'm_ the one hurting _her_? What if -_ Taiki saw Natsuru walk down the stairs, dressed in a pair of jeans and a white shirt, and he greeted Taiki,

"Good morning, Taiki."

"Good morning, Natsuru. How did you sleep last night?" The words were out of Taiki's mouth before he could stop himself, and cursed his inability to think of the consequences of his words. To his surprise, however, Natsuru smiled and replied,

"Pretty well, actually. Akane and Mikoto agreed to let each of them sleep with me one night, so I slept with Akane last night, and tonight I sleep with Mikoto."

"Breakfast is ready!" Shizuku voiced from the kitchen. "Natsuru, go get Mikoto and Akane to eat! Thanks! Oh, and what do you want to drink?"

"Coffee, if you have any, if you don't, I'll have water," Natsuru responded. Taiki answered,

"I'll have water, please," and then wondered why he was being so polite to someone who was obviously trying her best to hurt him.

"Ok, I'll get that ready. Taiki, you can sit at the table now," Shizuku said, switching the topic.

"No, I'll wait until the others are here to sit down," Taiki replied, and Shizuku nodded.

"Suit yourself," she said, and turned back to the kitchen. Taiki put his head in his hands and thought,

_What do I do with this?_


End file.
